Monday, January 09, 2006

Keeping on, and boy I'm not doing MPs that way again.

This morning I was scattered and I stopped to write that post, but then hurried to work (illogical as I knew I'd have to stay late, but then, sometimes I'm illogical). I had not written my morning pages but figured I would write them in the parking lot before going in. Then I remembered I had a frozen item with me for lunch (which I didn't need, because the all-day-meeting keeping me late supplied lunch, but we hadn't been told to expect it), so I went in. I did the MPs at my desk and no one was very curious or tried to read them but I got interrupted way too much. If I do them at work again, I will take them out to the car and sit there and do them. Even though there were not too many people about it just did not work very well.

On the other hand, I have done the MPs every day so far, and always in the morning if not always right away (today was the worst as far as that goes). I think I got off on the wrong foot massively today by the way I woke up. I'd meant to get up with the alarm at 6 or just after the first snooze (6:10) and write MPs, then leisurely go into my day. Instead my DH snoozed the alarm quickly and I do not remember even hearing it (I probably did but not wake up far enough to remember). I got up at 6:30 all flustered and aflutter because it was "later" than I intended, and I ran around like a chicken without a head. At least I eventually gathered myself and did pretty well on the day, in spite of the whiny and scatter-brained beginning.

I still need to do most of this week's exercises. And a bunch of other things. Tonight I'm going to try to do a few more. I love to resist "memory" exercises, mine is so bad I feel awful about it, but at least two of my negative influences are really very easy to remember and there is one of them I am quite sure I've never worked through, so I should be able to work with these exercises, right? (In general, I am less hard on myself and more hard on myself as-presented-to-others I think. I'm not going to try to write more on that until I've done the exercises, and maybe not then, but I know it.)

I almost took down this morning's post because I thought it would upset people or look bad on me. Then I left it, because honestly, I do find both statements still frustrating and unfair; the one from the work-related book about the MPs is actually an ad hominem attack and I do think insulting people is a bit of a poor motivator skill. There were lots of good motivating points made, but that wasn't one.


Kara said...

I think all your feelings about Cameron's tone are valid and I'm glad you have left your posts. I have a tendancy to fall into either/or black/orwhite thinking and let that stop me. I applaud you for exploring both sides and the shades in the middle. I really am glad to read what you have to say. Thanks for the visit to my blog and comments.

Dak-Ind said...

greetings from down valley! i hope you are not near enough to the river to be receiving to much flooding.

i got here via Kat's Paw, i couldnt resist a visit to a fellow oregonian. i actuallyu read thru your entire blog and love your use of language and descriptiveness. it made my visit to your blog relaxing. thank you. i look forward to returning.